Ensuring Help Does Not Harm Ukrainian Children

It has taken me a while to feel able to write a blog about the situation of children from Ukraine during the current war. Even though from the start I felt that I wanted to. The main problem, I think, was that there are just so many aspects to the problems that the children are facing, that it is hard to know where to start. A lot of organisations and individuals have jumped into action and are doing absolutely everything they can to keep Ukrainian children as safe as possible. Unfortunately, under the current circumstances, it feels a lot like trying to carry water in a sieve. However, with many of the basics being addressed, things are starting to crystalise a bit more for me.

In this blog, I want to address two issues that have struck me repeatedly: offers to adopt children, and what will happen with the 100,000 children living in institutions in Ukraine. There are cautions I wish to raise, to make sure that well-intentioned help does not end up causing serious harm.

From various corners, I have heard of families offering to adopt Ukrainian children to offer them a safe place to grow up. This offer is made with the genuine wish to give a child a better life. However, it is not helpful or safe to make an offer like that. War creates chaos. Many children have been separated from their families, 100,000 children live in so-called orphanages: children without parents to care for them… at the moment. This is very important to understand. Children who have been separated from their families can almost always be reunited with their family again, and of the so-called orphans it is known that more than 80% have families.

Adoption cuts off a child from their birth family and deprives the child of the chance of being reunited with their family. This is why adoption (and especially expedited adoption) should never happen during a war or other crisis situation. This was documented very well when in 2010, after the earthquake and hurricane many Haitian children were fast-tracked for adoption by families in the USA. When the dust settled and more information became available, it became clear that many of these children were not at all available for adoption, that they had families to care for them. Some of these children were returned to their families, some were requested to be returned but were not.

We have to make sure that this does not happen to Ukrainian children. And we have to be aware that there are child traffickers out there who are looking for opportunities to make money out of the current chaos. Reputable adoption agencies will explain to you that you cannot adopt Ukrainian children right now. If you insist on looking for other options, you may find people who are willing to help you and to make sure that you end up with a child and they with the money, regardless of the child’s background or best interests. Don’t encourage them!

The other point concerns children from Ukrainian institutions, some of whom are currently being supported to be reunited with their families and moved to safe locations with them, by organisations on the ground. However, many organisations are focussing on moving these children out of Ukraine to the safety of other countries.

Three points I want to raise about this (out of many): 1) make sure they are not warehoused, 2) make sure their caregivers are trauma-informed, and 3) make sure they are not re-institutionalised.

1) With a large number of children from institutions, about half of them children with disabilities, descending on neighbouring countries, there is a real problem figuring out how to provide care for all these children. The worry is that in desperation, large buildings will be converted into temporary shelters where large groups of children are placed with few caregivers. Then it always remains to be seen how temporary that ends up being. Childhood passes quickly. Before you know it, children are stuck in places like that until they age out at 18 and are left to fend for themselves.

Thankfully many organisations are aware of this and are doing what they can to organise family-based care or small group care that is as close to a family situation as possible. However, this is very challenging, because there are a lot of children to find families for. And children who have been institutionalised come with challenges, which brings us to:

2) It is really heartening to see a much bigger awareness of the need for psychosocial support for children who have had to flee a war zone than there has previously been. However, for children who come from institutions, the war is not the only trauma they have experienced. Families and caregivers who will take them in need to receive training and support to help them understand and deal with the effects of institutionalisation, which include developmental delays, challenging behaviour and an overactive stress response system. Without this training and support, they are unlikely to be able to cope very long and children will end up being moved from one family or residential care facility to the next, if not actually ending up in the street. With every move further adding to their trauma.

I have reached out to some major organisations to work together to use the material that I have put together for the book I am close to completing: Understanding the Trauma of Institutionalised Children. It compiles the information and guidance needed and can be adapted for publication or training.

Finally, 3), hopefully the war in Ukraine will end soon and all those who have had to flee the country will be able to return, including the children who were moved out of Ukrainian institutions. After all the efforts made to ensure that these children are not placed in institutions while abroad, we also need to ensure that when they return, they are not simply re-institutionalised. Sending a previously institutionalised child who, for a limited time, was able to experience life in a family back to an institution has a devastating effect on their self-worth, on their trust in other people, on their belief that relationships can last, on their sense of safety and possibly even on their will to live. It is an incredibly harsh rejection and abandonment that is indefensible.

When it comes to repatriating previously institutionalised Ukrainian children, money and efforts have to be invested into providing their families with the training and support to enable the majority of these children to be reintegrated into their families. And for children who really cannot safely return to their family, other family-based solutions need to be found (or set up).

Even if this war end today or tomorrow, Ukraine is going to need a lot of support to rebuild and recover. In this child protection and child welfare have to have a central role. And we need to make very sure that the help we offer does not cause more harm.

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