Next Best: Imitation Families

It is very rare, only a very small percentage of children without parental care, but it does sometimes happen that it is not possible to find a place for a child with their extended family, nor in a foster family and the situation is not such that an adoptive family would be appropriate. Usually these children are older, often teenagers, and have complicated challenging behaviour that is difficult to deal with in a family. Or they are children with complex, severe multiple special needs.

What to do with these children? Should they go into an institution? I presume that by now you can predict that the answer here is ‘no’. In this blog we will look at what then.

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If Not Extended Family, Then Foster Family

Despite the impression created by the huge numbers of children in institutions and other types of formal alternative care around the world, by far the majority of children not cared for by their parents, are not in formal alternative care. Most of them are already taken in by their extended families, right at this moment, without any additional awareness raising or support. This is something worth building on.

However, just like there are some children who will not be able to be cared for by their parents, no matter how much support they receive and how great the community services available are, there will also be children who do not have extended family members able to take them in and care for them. For them other family-based solutions need to be found.

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Podcast Attachment Disorder in Family Placement

The effects of institutionalisation do not necessarily disappear when a child is taken out of an institution and placed with a family. This makes it very important that parents who take in a child who has been institutionalised for some time – whether they are the child’s own parents, foster parents or adoptive parents – receive training and guidance to help cope with this.

In this month’s podcast the real story of a little girl who was adopted is told, to illustrate some of the problems that may arise.

Then next podcast will be posted in four weeks.

Please share this, to help spread awareness.

Family-Based Solutions Starts with Extended Family

Prevention of children getting separated from their parents – as discussed in the previous few blogs – drastically reduces the number of children who need alternative care solutions. However, the number of children in need of alternative care will never be zero.

So if they should not go into an institution, where should they go? That is what this blog will look at.

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So How DOES One Help?

As the trauma of the expensive December-month is starting to fade, this might be a good time to have a look at what causes you would like to donate to this year. People who really want to help vulnerable children, may feel thrown off kilter after hearing that donating to so-called orphanages actually does a lot of harm, despite the best intentions. This is very understandable. I really hope that this will not shake their determination to make a difference and donate to causes that would be of great help.

So in this blog I want to give an overview of the kind of things that ARE beneficial to vulnerable children and that can use backing and financial support.

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What About Children with Disabilities?

A five-year-old girl, weighing 6kg, who has lived in an institution since she was a few months old, because she has spastic cerebral palsy. At five years old she is the size of a very skinny 18-month-old and she has reached the milestones of a four-month-old baby. On first meeting her, it is easy to presume that she is very severely impaired, both physically and intellectually. However, appearances are deceiving.

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Making Education Accessible

‘Education is the golden bullet’, a cliché maybe, but that does not make it less true. As mentioned in the blog about education driving children into ‘orphanages’ (HERE) earlier this month, people all around the world are becoming more and more aware of the potential of education for lifting people out of poverty. This makes them willing to send their children to an institution to make sure that they get this marvellous chance.

Unfortunately, the damage done by institutionalisation to a child’s brain development will almost always outweigh the benefits of getting an education. For a child really to get the full benefit of being educated, this needs to be combined with growing up in a family-environment. So, we need to look for other solutions.

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Combating Poverty, the Cheaper Option

As mentioned in the blog at the start of the month (HERE) poverty is very high on the list of reasons why children end up being separated from their parents, and in many cases institutionalised. This is something that can be tackled relatively simply.

When I talk about poverty relief, I am not talking about pie-in-the-sky wishes like an end to hunger globally (and let’s throw in world peace for good measure). Of course I would like to see that, but let’s go one step at a time. In this blog I want to mention a series of practical measures that are already being implemented in many places, including in some low-income countries. Measures that have been shown to be very effective, as well as very cost-effective.

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What About Parental Problems?

Wait a minute, you might say, didn’t you say in the overview that some children need to be taken away from their families for their own protection? Because they are being abused or neglected, or because they are surrounded by domestic violence or substance abuse. Nothing to be done there…

While it is true that there will always be some children who need to be removed from their families for their protection, this is actually only a very, very small group… IF support systems are in place. Even when parents are facing serious problems or are really struggling to raise their children, very often it is possible to help out in ways that allow the child to stay with the family, safely.

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Disability as Reason for Institutionalisation

As the momentum of the global movement towards deinstitutionalisation is growing, the proportion of children with disabilities in institutions is growing. In many countries, children are being moved from institutions to family-based alternatives, but in this process the children with disabilities are left behind. Often for many of the same reasons that had them end up in the institutions in the first place.

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